Self-Isolation Diary: Day 7
Updated: Sep 8, 2021
7:02am Read something about retraining your sense of smell. Shove an old sock in my schnozz and convince myself I can smell the clammy goodness. Not gonna lie, it feels good. Let out a satisfied groan that’s really not in keeping with the situation. Look up and see my wife staring at me with a mix of disgust and disappointment. Thank Christ I wasn’t sniffing my undies. Or testing my tastebuds.
7:05am Consider sniffing my undies. Decide against it.
7:10am 6 year old son sneezes. The non-infected one. Shit. We’re gonna have to test him again aren’t we?
7:11am It was only one sneeze though. That could be anything.
7:25am Fuck, he’s sneezed again. Two sneezes in fifteen minutes. Definitely Covid, that.
7:30am Son is pretty fucked-off by the revelation that we have to test him again. Wife has to fly solo as I can’t help in case I give him Covid. Catching Covid during a Covid test wouldn't be ideal. Like catching chlamydia during a driving test.
7:35am My poor lad is hysterical. I feel useless stood in the next room so end up shouting encouragement. ‘Just imagine you’re picking your nose, son!’ is just one of many ineffective lines.
8:05am Test is negative. He can go to school. Hallelujah.
Check out my live shows / books / podcast / blogs
I'll be announcing the tour dates for my BRAND NEW SHOW for 2022 very soon! For presale tickets be sure to join the mailing list below. I'm excited!