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  • Sam Avery

Self-Isolation Diary: Day 7

Updated: Sep 8, 2021


7:02am Read something about retraining your sense of smell. Shove an old sock in my schnozz and convince myself I can smell the clammy goodness. Not gonna lie, it feels good. Let out a satisfied groan that’s really not in keeping with the situation. Look up and see my wife staring at me with a mix of disgust and disappointment. Thank Christ I wasn’t sniffing my undies. Or testing my tastebuds.


7:05am Consider sniffing my undies. Decide against it.


7:10am 6 year old son sneezes. The non-infected one. Shit. We’re gonna have to test him again aren’t we?


7:11am It was only one sneeze though. That could be anything.


7:25am Fuck, he’s sneezed again. Two sneezes in fifteen minutes. Definitely Covid, that.

7:30am Son is pretty fucked-off by the revelation that we have to test him again. Wife has to fly solo as I can’t help in case I give him Covid. Catching Covid during a Covid test wouldn't be ideal. Like catching chlamydia during a driving test.


7:35am My poor lad is hysterical. I feel useless stood in the next room so end up shouting encouragement. ‘Just imagine you’re picking your nose, son!’ is just one of many ineffective lines.


8:05am Test is negative. He can go to school. Hallelujah.


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