The moment Ukraine were declared Eurovision winners, thoughts naturally turned to wondering how a country under a violent Russian...

I’m always touched by the messages I get. Those saying I helped them through lockdown, cheered them up or picked them out of a slump. And...

WIDE SHOT OF A BRIGHT, WHITE ROOM. THE ROOM IS EMPTY. THERE ARE NO WINDOWS. NURSERY RHYMES PLAY. IN THE CORNER IS A SMALL BOY. HE’S...

Why does cheese taste so good standing up? Is it the altitude? Or the location? There’s probably some exotic cuisine out there that...

If you know you’re getting clean, you may as well have one last hurrah, right? A final day of bulldozing more calories into your face...

WHAT IS LONELY MOUTH? One month without snacks. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY SNACKS? I don’t mean I’m swerving kumquats for a month. I’m talking...

There’s a brilliant Japanese word: kuchisabishii. It’s translation is simply ’Lonely mouth.’ My mouth isn’t lonely at the moment. Quite...

So I’m doing a gig, trying out new stuff for next year’s show. I spot a girl filming me on her phone. I politely ask her not to film as...

People often ask me what I do after my shows. ‘I bet you make the most of being away don’t you? Mad night on the town? Beers in the...

My taste came back! What a moment. I had hoped to be in the middle of something mind-blowingly delicious when it returned. Maybe some...

Did you enjoy Schitts Creek? Of course you did. If you’re looking to fill the void in your soul left by that show finishing, get yourself...

Found this flyer from my first ever solo show in 2010. Fair to say the last decade has not been kind to me... Showed my wife - she looked...

The most remarkable thing I did aged 18 was blag myself a child’s fare on the bus. And yep, that doesn’t *sound* impressive. But by 18 I...

I got out! It rained! I didn’t care! I bought coffee! Chest-bumped the postman! (Okay, that last bit didn’t happen) Good to be back....

Our last night in the Covid Cave! So many emotions. Excitement, mainly. I can’t WAIT to get my wife back in the marital bed. And I’m not...

I’m worried my tastebuds are gonna be like my grandads hearing. You could hear his telly from down the road but when you got there he’d...

Caught a homeless man wandering round the kitchen earlier. Turned out to be my reflection in the oven. Maybe I’m not keeping this...

7:02am Read something about retraining your sense of smell. Shove an old sock in my schnozz and convince myself I can smell the clammy...

It’s quite nice to enjoy a good cough without worrying you’re coming down with Covid. The downside obviously being that it IS Covid. But...

8:05am Decide to eat healthy for the rest of my quarantine. If I can’t taste, why bother with biscuits? 8:12am Accidentally eat a...