Jan 241 minThe House of AveryI’m always touched by the messages I get. Those saying I helped them through lockdown, cheered them up or picked them out of a slump. And...
Jan 52 minIf Netflix Made My Dream Last NightWIDE SHOT OF A BRIGHT, WHITE ROOM. THE ROOM IS EMPTY. THERE ARE NO WINDOWS. NURSERY RHYMES PLAY. IN THE CORNER IS A SMALL BOY. HE’S...
Jan 42 minWhy Does Cheese Taste So Good Standing Up?Why does cheese taste so good standing up? Is it the altitude? Or the location? There’s probably some exotic cuisine out there that...
Jan 32 minLonely Mouth: Day 2If you know you’re getting clean, you may as well have one last hurrah, right? A final day of bulldozing more calories into your face...
Jan 22 minLonely Mouth Blog: Day 1WHAT IS LONELY MOUTH? One month without snacks. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY SNACKS? I don’t mean I’m swerving kumquats for a month. I’m talking...
Dec 31, 20211 minLonely Mouth Blog: PreviewThere’s a brilliant Japanese word: kuchisabishii. It’s translation is simply ’Lonely mouth.’ My mouth isn’t lonely at the moment. Quite...
Nov 1, 20211 minI Thought I'd Seen It AllSo I’m doing a gig, trying out new stuff for next year’s show. I spot a girl filming me on her phone. I politely ask her not to film as...
Oct 5, 20212 minRock and Roll, babyPeople often ask me what I do after my shows. ‘I bet you make the most of being away don’t you? Mad night on the town? Beers in the...
Sep 23, 20213 minReturn of the TastebudsMy taste came back! What a moment. I had hoped to be in the middle of something mind-blowingly delicious when it returned. Maybe some...
Sep 21, 20211 minBravo, Ted LassoDid you enjoy Schitts Creek? Of course you did. If you’re looking to fill the void in your soul left by that show finishing, get yourself...
Sep 16, 20211 minThe Ravages of TimeFound this flyer from my first ever solo show in 2010. Fair to say the last decade has not been kind to me... Showed my wife - she looked...
Sep 13, 20212 minTennis, bloody hellThe most remarkable thing I did aged 18 was blag myself a child’s fare on the bus. And yep, that doesn’t *sound* impressive. But by 18 I...
Sep 11, 20211 minFreeeeeedom!I got out! It rained! I didn’t care! I bought coffee! Chest-bumped the postman! (Okay, that last bit didn’t happen) Good to be back....
Sep 10, 20212 minSelf-Isolation Diary: Day 10Our last night in the Covid Cave! So many emotions. Excitement, mainly. I can’t WAIT to get my wife back in the marital bed. And I’m not...
Sep 8, 20211 minSelf-Isolation Diary: Day 9I’m worried my tastebuds are gonna be like my grandads hearing. You could hear his telly from down the road but when you got there he’d...
Sep 8, 20212 minSelf-Isolation Diary: Day 8Caught a homeless man wandering round the kitchen earlier. Turned out to be my reflection in the oven. Maybe I’m not keeping this...
Sep 7, 20211 minSelf-Isolation Diary: Day 77:02am Read something about retraining your sense of smell. Shove an old sock in my schnozz and convince myself I can smell the clammy...
Sep 6, 20212 minSelf-Isolation Diary: Day 6It’s quite nice to enjoy a good cough without worrying you’re coming down with Covid. The downside obviously being that it IS Covid. But...
Sep 5, 20212 minSelf-Isolation Diary: Day 58:05am Decide to eat healthy for the rest of my quarantine. If I can’t taste, why bother with biscuits? 8:12am Accidentally eat a...
Sep 4, 20212 minSelf-Isolation Diary: Day 4At least this shenanigans means I can laze about in bed watching Netflix all day, right? WRONG. One of my lads tested positive. Shite....