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  • Writer's pictureSam Avery

Self-Isolation Diary: Day 9

I’m worried my tastebuds are gonna be like my grandads hearing. You could hear his telly from down the road but when you got there he’d be squinting at the subtitles, oblivious to the racket his fat-arsed Panasonic was broadcasting across the cul-de-sac.

I made a ham sandwich today and whacked so much mustard on I reckon you could *taste* it from down the road.

But to me?

Ryvita, mate.

Everything tastes like Ryvita.

(I haven’t tried actual Ryvita but I’m pretty sure that’d also taste like Ryvita.)

I hope my tastebuds are enjoying their break.

Maybe they’ve gone on holiday. An all-inclusive fortnight on the tip of some gastronomist’s tongue. Binging on Miyagi oysters and fine cognacs.

They’ll be gutted when they get back home to my super noodle and crisp butties.

Don’t judge me. We’re in the middle of a pandemic.

Back tomorrow…

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